The example of the boss not listening to changing the perspective to a more positive one taught me a very important lesson. I love this example and part of the book because it teaches us to be problem solvers. Instead of carrying the attitude, “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve,” we become enlightened as to asking ourselves “Where do I go from here?” I believe there is an appropriate time to evaluate past experiences and mistakes as to not repeat them again. However, the problem comes when we start dwelling on them so much, that we lose our focus on what happens next. We get so stuck in the past, that we forget the here and now and the possibilities of what can happen next in the future.
“Love is neither about self-determination nor sacrifice. It is a context in which two people build the life they want together” (Zander & Zander, 2000, p.158). I learned this lesson a while back. I think this can relate to all types of relationships whether with a spouse, a friend, or a family member. The great thing about relationships is the opportunity to serve and care for someone more than you do about yourself. It is not a burden and does not feel like a sacrifice because bringing them happiness also instills in you that same feeling. Joy comes from serving them and doing things to make them happy. When you have two people doing that for each other, you have an extremely happy relationship. This isn’t an easy thing to do, but working at it is part of the building process. And through the may experiences, you get wonderful results.
Sarah -
I completely agree with your statement that "the problem comes when we start dwelling on them so much that we lose our focus on what happens next". Too many times I have found myself focusing on my past failures to the point that it makes it hard for me to forgive myself and move on even though I know better. I don't do it often, however often enough that your first paragraph resonated with me a lot.
I always find it funny when people say that relationships are a 50/50 split in everything. I believe that it should be 100/100 because if you are constantly doing things for the other person and they are doing the same then happiness is a result no matter what. Just like you said though this is not an easy thing to do but the results will speak for themselves. Nice post miss Sarah
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